jael’s delirium

this is the most disconnected from you that i’ve felt. my heart longs for you but i can not feel your warmth. i miss the connection we used to share. i miss feeling like your love.  when you met this person, i was genuinely happy for you. you seemed more social and you looked healthy. i was glad to see you finding this friendship. happy until i started to feel like my presence was more of a disturbance than something you wanted. there were moments, even before our misunderstanding, where i was right in front of you yet felt so invisible and alone. almost like a ghost to you. moments where you couldn’t even utter a word to me, yet spent what felt to be the longest hours smiling at a screen… leaving me to feel even more unwanted and rejected, so easily replaceable.  i have my own share of insecurities, and we have our own share of issues too. but we are supposed to work together and make sure we never feel so apart, most importantly like we still belong together. i don’t know...