unfuck my heart

I don't want to be friends with you. I want you to sit next to me looking at the night sky while holding my hand and telling me everything is going to be alright. I want you to close your eyes and picture a future with me in it, as your girlfriend. I want to go home, home to you. And I want to kiss you. And hug you. And I also want you to know that I never forgot about you.
I want you to sit next to me and tell me why you love me, but without using any words.
I want to talk to you. Like we used to do back in old days, when you didn't break my heart.
I want to know what's new to you. I want you to talk to me but without feeling like you have to. I want it to happen naturally.
I want this mist of strangeness to fade away. I want things to be like they used to be. I want you back, and I cannot hide it.
But I also fear that you're going to break my heart again.