refúgios e lares. pessoas e lugares.

i don’t like the idea of “belonging” to someone.

i would like to be loved. yet, im my own person and i believe that when you search for that someone who’s supposed to be “your person” in a way you start falling in love with that idea of them instead of who they are. the idea of who they’re supposed to be and them ending up as an extension of yourself. (sobre idealização). 

for me it’s been reflected on mirroring myself into somebody completely different just to fit that description of how their person is supposed to be this and that, and me expecting them to give me parts of themselves they never had. 

in a way i’d love to have someone by my side who understands how i like my food in the morning and how i’d like to be held when life hits me a bit hard, but mostly understands that i’m not meant to fit their idealized version of who i’m supposed to be. someone that actually loves me because sometimes when i laugh too hard i drop a tear and it’s not going to be mad at me cause i don’t like the same tv show they’ve been watching for decades now. someone who loves me for being me, flawed and still worthy of their presence.