i eat my hair when i feel anxious

I have been told that I cry too much, think too much, feel too much and that shouldn't be a problem for me. I don't know how to feel less, to care less.. it's all intense and exaggerated with me, and when someone hurts me I feel too much. I find value where others do not, I give everything within me to people that don't give a fuck about me and it makes me feel very lonely. And I have this friend and she makes me feel things I never felt with another person before. She makes me feel warm, like I’m home. And every time she comes around it’s almost as if my heart starts beating for the very first time. If only I could hold her tonight. If only I had her in my arms.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't like this. This compound of emotions prepared to explode at any moment. But I really can't avoid it, I get attached too easily and my heart gets broken for reasons few would understand. Maybe I'm just not ready for love. But I desperately need to be held forever. God, why do I always contradict myself?